


You're Worth The Effort

by British_Fairy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Post canon, Third Year Akaashi, different members of Fukurodani show up, idiots to lovers, neurodivergency fic, supportive parents, university bokuto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28989342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/British_Fairy/pseuds/British_Fairy
Summary: Bokuto is autistic and is realizing just how much Akaashi helped him with it in high school now that he's off at university. He's also realizing that maybe he wants to be more than Akaashi's friend.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 27





	1. Two Owls in a Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi and Bokuto chat in a park, reuniting after months apart, and Bokuto learns a lot.

It was 1 am and Bokuto couldn’t sleep. His thoughts were racing, his bed was too warm, and if he stared at his ceiling for another minute he was pretty sure his one brain cell might just explode. With a final, cursory glance at his phone to see that there were still in fact no new notifications, he sat up and got out of bed, haphazardly toeing on some shoes to wear outside.

Outside felt much better, the air was cooler and more refreshing, and the persistent hum of electronics was gone, even if only to be replaced by the sound of the street light. He grabbed the ladder stored in his backyard and climbed to the top of the roof of the house he shared with a couple of the other old high school volleyball captains that managed to attend the same university as him. They all were on the university’s volleyball team and they even had starting positions as first years, but Bokuto didn’t feel like he deserved his anymore. 

Kuroo and Daichi knew about his dejected mode, they’d played against him in high school enough to have seen it, especially at the summer training camp, so thankfully they weren’t weird about it and were supportive enough. It was his other teammates that made him feel all the negative emotions that brought him to the roof tonight. They were never outright mean of course, they were just… confused? Bokuto wasn’t sure what the right word was there but confused started to cover it. They started out concerned, asking questions to see if they could help, but then they started asking questions like “why is this happening again?” and “isn't this the third time this week?” and they had just started avoiding his gaze when he fell down into the mental spiral he couldn’t escape. It was isolating, to say the least. 

More than that, Bokuto felt guilty. Guilty for causing problems for the team when he couldn’t perform right. Guilty because he’s making his teammates uncomfortable. Guilty because Daichi and Kuroo have to deal with him when he comes home after a practice or game where he didn’t bounce back. Guilty, guilty, guilty. 

“GAHH!” Bokuto yelled while rapidly ruffling his hands through his hair. It didn’t fix his problems, but stimming with his hair made him feel a little better. He leaned back on the roof, taking comfort in the texture of the shingles. 

He didn’t always feel this guilty when he played volleyball and got dejected though. In high school, Akaashi was always there to help him through it, and his teammates were always very supportive. Sometimes he thought Akaashi knew him better than he knew himself, and hearing about the setter’s mental Bokuto calculator always made him laugh. 

He laid there reminiscing about all of the time he spent with Akaashi and felt a twinge of guilt when he remembered that he hadn’t had a lot of communication with him after he left for university, just some daily snapchats and the occasional shared meme. 

_ I should go see Akaashi, I miss him _ , he thought. 

While Bokuto laid there a train passed across the top of the hill by the stoplight closest to his house. _ Must be 1:30 am _ , he thought, he always heard it pass when he was up this late. The train wasn’t visible from any window on the ground, but he found he could see it from the roof. It always made him smile like it was a reward for getting to the top, plus there was something comforting about its routine, even if it also served as a timely reminder that he needed to go to bed. He still had class in the morning.

\--

In a string of luck, Bokuto had the next weekend off with no “optional” practices. After finding out he grabbed his phone to text Akaashi immediately.

B: akaaaaaashi!! 

B: i'm gonna come watch your practice this weekend!!!  ( ° ∀ ° )ﾉﾞ

B: (hehe that looks like an owl right!!)

B: i can't wait to see you!!

A: i can't wait to see you too :>

A: (that also looks like a bird)

Seeing Akaashi’s response made Bokuto beam, he could always count on him to send bird emojis back. The spiker rode his high spirits to finish his homework for the weekend (well most of it anyway) and threw some clothes into a bag so he could catch the soonest train back home after his classes the next day. 

\--

When Bokuto woke up that weekend, there was more light streaming through his window than he thought there should be.

_ Oh shit, I slept through my alarm. _

He jumped out of bed and threw on the clothes that he, thankfully, had set out the night before and began to make his way down to Fukuroodani Academy. The way there was still second nature so, despite his lateness, it was a calming walk in the sunshine. He passed a shop window, still dark as it hadn’t yet opened, and took a moment to glance at his reflection. He had taken extra care to make sure his owl horn spiked hair looked especially good today. _ I’m pretty sure it’s normal to want to show off to your old teammates when you go back for a visit _ , he assured himself. Satisfied with his appearance he quickened his pace, very excited to see his favorite setter after so many months. 

He originally had intended to arrive shortly after warmups ended, he knew how hard it was to get back into an interrupted routine so he wasn’t going to be the one to interrupt them. But since he was an hour later than he wanted, they’d likely be deeper into practice and it’d be harder to interrupt. That was fine though, he’d just wait up in the rafters and watch.

When he opened the door he was met with a lot more noise than he was expecting. His old teammates, along with the new first years, were locked in a practice match against Nohebi Academy. He watched Akaashi effortlessly set to Onaga who made a cross-shot past the snakes’ blockers. The spike hit right on the inside of the line, so the team of owls made the point. 

“NICE KILL ONAGA!” Bokuto yelled into the gym.

His old team turned towards him and smiled, a collective set of “Bokuto!”s ringing out from them. 

“I’m gonna watch your match from up top,” Bokuto said as he made his way toward the rafter’s ladder, “oh, and Onaga? Your cross-shot was almost out, try to put a little more downward force into it to make it land sooner!”

“OH! I didn’t even notice thanks!” the second-year spiker yelled back. 

When he got to the second floor of the gym, Bokuto leaned against the railing, taking pride in his team as they maintained a 4 point lead against Nohebi academy. There weren’t many third years on the team, and Akaashi was the only one who had had a regular position last year, but the second and first years were certainly holding their own against the third Tokyo representative in last year’s nationals. 

A little over an hour and a half later, the teams had called the final match, 4 -1 Owl vs Snakes. Not to take  _ too _ much pride, but the match they lost was when they swapped in the second year setter Anahori to give him some extended practice in a match. To his credit though, it was a close loss.  _ Fukuroodani will be in good hands when Akaashi graduates,  _ Bokuto thought fondly.

“HEY HEY HEY AKAAAAAASHI!!” Bokuto yelled as he scrambled down to his teammates. He made his way over to the dark-haired setter and held his arms up, “Can I hug you?”

“Bokuto, I’m very sweaty.”

“Haha, I don't care about that! I haven’t seen my best friend in months plus I'm a volleyball player, I can handle a little sweat.” He exclaimed proudly.

Akaashi laughed and agreed, giving in to one of Bokuto’s crushing excited hugs. 

“It’s good to see you again Bo,” Akaashi smiled.

The pair chatted back and forth for a while about the match, Bokuto making sure to point out every cool moment he saw with Akaashi chiming in about the new things the team had been trying or how the second and first years had improved. 

“Hey barn owl move off the court so we can clean up,” Onaga yelled, “you love birds can catch up later.”

“OnaGAAAAA,” Bokuto yelled as he ran to wrangle the spiker for bringing up the joke about him and Akaashi being married again. Bokuto didn’t mind the joke of course, but he had to attack the people who brought it up out of principle.

Bokuto stepped out of the gym to wait for Akaashi by the club room. He had to admit, it made him really happy to hear someone call him and his old setter love birds again. It reminded him of some of his favorite times in volleyball, plus he always felt happy when he was with Akaashi.

Akaashi walked out of the club room in his street clothes and walked over to his old captain. “Ready to go?”

“Absolutely ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto smiled, “want to go grab some pork buns from the convenience store down the road like we used to after practice matches?”

“Sure! I’m starving,” he agreed, starting to walk away, “oh sorry about Onaga’s joke, I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Hm? Oh no, it didn’t. More than anything it reminded me of how they would make the same jokes when I was on the team with you and of how much fun we had together!”

“Okay that’s good, I know it made you a little panicky the first few times they made the joke so I wanted to make sure you were still good.”

“Ah yeah, I was really confused and eventually frustrated the first few times they made the joke cause I thought I had missed something important and I didn’t understand what was going on. Once I figured out it was a joke about how close we are, and that I hadn’t been the only one to miss the fact that we were in a relationship, I was fine, and still am!” Bokuto explained.

“Hm, that makes sense. I’ll admit it also took me by surprise and I felt too anxious to talk to you about it haha,” Akaashi smiled and fidgeted with the strap of his bag, indicating to Bokuto that he probably was still a bit nervous talking about it.

Soon the duo arrived at the convenience store and the owl-haired spiker bought pork buns for them both and Akaashi bought them both a sports drink. Chiming their thank you’s to the cashier, they took their goods and headed out to a nearby park where they used to hang out after practice when it wasn’t too cold. Bokuto thought it felt good to know that despite how long it had been since they’d practiced together and how long it had been since they’d come to this park, they could still spend time together as if no time had passed at all. 

Akaashi tore into his first pork bun with a lack of decorum few of his teammates ever saw, but it was nothing new to his owl haired companion. As he uncapped his drink he looked over to Bokuto and asked, “so what brought you back home?”

Bokuto sighed and leaned back against the bench, “I had a weekend off and I missed you.”

“Koutarou, you messaged me that you were visiting at 2 am, you only stay up that late before a practice when something’s bothering you.”

Bokuto’s eyes widened, “busting out my first name for that callout huh ‘Kaashi.” He paused for another few seconds and sighed, “I just… I was thinking about my practices with my team at uni and... I never really realized how much you helped me at practice and in games. Like, not just with your sets, but you knew what to do when I got dejected or when I started spiraling into a shutdown. You knew how to get me out of it, and you never looked down on me for any of it.”

“Bo…” Akaashi looked directly at his face, “are your teammates… not treating you well?”

Bokuto averted his gaze from the other’s eyes, “I wouldn’t say that… they just don’t seem to know what to do with me? Not even just when I get down but also when I get really loud or I stim in front of them after a good or bad set. Like, Daichi and Kuroo knew about my ‘dejected mode’ and my other teammates were genuinely concerned for a little while but now they seem kind of frustrated by it, and they’ll talk behind my back about their frustrations and I just… I don’t know Keiji, it’s just starting to get to me you know?”

Akaashi nodded, prompting Bokuto to continue and the spiker laughed, “I never thanked you for everything you did for me Akaashi, so thank you. You made a world of difference in my whole life, not just in volleyball, because you were actually willing to work with me without looking down on me ever. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”

Akaashi smiled and put his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder, “You’re welcome Bokuto, and I would do all of that all over again in a heartbeat because you’re worth making minor adjustments for.” Bokuto smiled, and then looked back at Akaashi inquisitively as if asking what he meant.

“Bokuto, you can and  _ should _ ask your teammates to make some of the adjustments I made for you. Let them know that when you’re dejected because of a bad run of spikes or being blocked, you just need a little bit of time to let it pass or work through it before giving you some encouragement and setting to you again. And if that’s not the case, tell them to just ask you what’s wrong, like at nationals when you were a little upset because we weren’t in the main arena and that change from what you expected and wanted bothered you, I just had to explain how you were still going to get the attention that you wanted from the audience present and you were fine! These aren’t huge changes to the way teammates already have to communicate, you’ll just have to be upfront about the kind of communication you need.”

Bokuto sat there for a moment, genuinely astonished at how simply Akaashi was able to put the basics of what he did. But as he processed the possibility of asking these things from his teammates he became more worried that doing so might just alienate him more.

“What if they start viewing my request as a burden because I’m asking them to pay so much attention to me during a match or practice? Like, Kuroo’s a good friend so he’ll be absolutely willing to work with me and Daichi probably already has experience because he was captain to Hinata and Kageyama, but those are only two people out of so many… Hell if I want to go pro or even the Olympics, how could I ask so many people to change what they do just for me?”

Akaashi was silent for a moment, thinking of the best way to respond, but the pause was long enough to cause Bokuto to panic and he started to quickly apologize, “GAH! I’m sorry for ranting so much especially after not talking to you very much the past few months and-”

The dark-haired setter cut him off, “Koutarou, you don't have to apologize to me, I was taking a moment to figure out the best response for you and I’m not mad at you in any way.” He smiled and put both hands on Bokuto’s shoulders, “Koutarou, you are worth the adjustments and the accommodations, you are worth the effort. You can ask any of your old teammates and they will tell you the same thing. We all came together to learn how to help you when you were experiencing your lows and how to communicate with you best because you are also a good person and a good teammate both on and off the court. You are worth the effort, please don’t ever forget that.”

Bokuto looked at Akaashi and then turned his gaze away to the nearby tree as tears formed in his eyes. The setter’s statement was so straightforward and kind, and it was one that Bokuto had never considered. He had spent so long worrying about his teammates rejecting and hating him that the simple thought,  _ I’m worth the effort,  _ hadn’t been able to cross his mind. He looked back at Akaashi and smiled, quickly wrapping him in a hug.

“Thank you Keiji.”

The pair sat on the bench hugging each other for a few moments longer before Bokuto sat up and looked at the time on his phone and said, “It’s getting a bit late, we should probably get you home for dinner.”

Akaashi laughs and starts to grab his bag, “Don’t worry Bo I don’t mind, I miss getting to talk after practices like this,” and with that, they began the walk back to the setter’s home.

\--

The two finally reached Akaashi’s home and stopped at the end of the driveway to say their goodbyes.

“Don’t forget to text me while you’re at school okay? I promise you won't be bothering my practice or my studies and I love hearing about all of your adventures,” said Akaashi.

Bokuto laughed and placed his hands on his waist in an overdramatic power stance, “ I will tell you about all of my greatest spikes!”

Akaashi smiled and began to turn to the door, “See you Kou!” but Bokuto grabbed his arm before he could leave and said, “You’re a really good friend Keiji.” 

_ Friend. _ As the word left his mouth, Bokuto felt his heart drop as if filled with sadness or doubt, like he wished there was some other word to put there instead. Before he could figure out the tug in his heart Akaashi turned back and gave him one of his small smiles, “Thank you.” 

Bokuto waited until Akaashi made it inside before deciding to leave, and the moment the door closed behind his closest friend he immediately wished it hadn’t and that Akaashi was still standing beside him. He stepped back from the driveway, looked up into the sky and whispered, “ _ Akaashi.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall thanks for reading :0  
> this is the first fic I've written in like four years so I hope you like it!!


	2. Two Owls in a Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi worries about a lot of things, including his huge crush on Bokuto whose visit just brought those feelings rushing back to the surface. The best way to sort those feelings out is of course: volleyball, the mall, and ice cream.

Akaashi closed the door behind him and stood with his back against the door. He hadn’t thought about Bokuto much since he went to university, he had made a point to do so. Focusing on how Bokuto wasn’t a part of his life anymore would just be too hard. He cared, no, he  _ cares _ about Bokuto so much and him coming back and talking to him openly about his struggles and emotions regarding everything just brought all the feelings he had been repressing for months rushing back. It was so unfair how much he liked Bokuto.

Sure his old captain was extremely attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, but Bokuto was one of the best friends he had ever had. He always respected his boundaries, never took his quietnesses as a reason to not talk, and in fact, usually seemed willing to talk to him whenever he didn’t feel like saying much. Plus Akaashi had to admit, he found how dramatic Bokuto was extremely cute. No one else could yell his name,  _ wrong _ , and he not hate it. 

In addition to that though, Akaashi felt like he could relax around Bokuto. Since he had a reputation for being smart and calculating, his classmates and teammates both expected that from him most of the time, but he never felt that kind of pressure around Bokuto. Not that the owl-haired spiker  _ wasn’t  _ smart, he was actually really smart in Akaashi’s opinion. He performed pretty well in school most of the time and he was actually better at math than Akaashi and would help him with his homework every so often. He was just unabashedly willing to leave all of his brain cells in his volleyball bag. On top of that, Bokuto helped Akaashi become more comfortable letting loose and just saying the goofiest things that came to mind, his personal favorite being “what if birds wore mannequin feet and sold feet pics in the forest to buy birdseed,” which isn’t incredible on its own but it made them both cry of laughter at the time. 

Really though, it felt nice to not have to feel pressured to always be right. He could get things wrong around Bokuto and he didn’t feel anxious about it. He could be nervous about small, seemingly inconsequential things around him without being judged. He could even get so overwhelmed that he shut down, and Bokuto wouldn’t mind. He didn’t just feel safe and relaxed around Bokuto, he felt at home with him, and if that didn’t make his heart ache tonight, nothing would.

He rubbed his hands over his face and laughed softly to himself, “I’m really screwed huh?”

He stood up from the cool wood, changed into his house shoes, and headed up the stairs to shower and get ready for bed. When he finally laid under the covers and plugged in his phone, he had a couple of texts from Bokuto. The first was letting the setter know that he had made it back to his parent’s house safely, the second made his heart skip a beat. It was a selfie Bokuto had taken of the two of them in the park, his strong arm draped around Akaashi to get them both in frame and in good lighting ( _ why is he this good at taking selfies? _ ). Akaashi saved the picture to his phone and immediately set it as his lock screen, unable to look away.  _ I’m pretty sure his smile could power cities,  _ he thought as he moved to text his owl-haired friend back. 

A: im glad you made it back!

A: and thanks for sending the pic, i made it my lock screen :>

B: awwwww aKAAAAASHIIIIII

A: :> let me know when you back to school safely tomorrow 

A: gn bo

B: goodnight kaashi 0v0

Akaashi set his phone down and buried his head into his pillow. His plan to not think about Bokuto was failing big time.

\---

Over the next few weeks, Akaashi and Bokuto started texting more and more. Akaashi would talk about the progress of the first years and Bokuto would tell all of his favorite spiking stories from practice. Soon they got into a familiar groove of texting, the setter started talking at length about the books he was reading and his many theories and analysis he had for each one, which spurred the spiker to talk about each of his new interests for hours when they arose. This often made Akaashi wonder how his friend ever got his homework done since he seemed to consume a lot of anime and video game streams outside of practice, but he supposed he wasn’t one to talk.

It wasn’t long before the “distraction” of Bokuto started to permeate beyond his frequent texts. One day during his English class, Akaashi had zoned out thinking about Bokuto’s latest theory regarding the murder-mystery manga they were reading together, which soon devolved into thinking about Bokuto himself. He hadn’t realized he had zoned out so much until his friend poked him because their teacher had called on him. He scrambled for the place in his textbook the teacher was referring to and stumbled over the words to the answer, creating a  _ mostly _ coherent English sentence. When the teacher moved on he sighed, distinctly both flustered and embarrassed, and started to fidget with his fingers, interlocking them and moving them back and forth for a while to calm down and attempt to pay attention. 

During practice later that day, Akaashi found himself missing Bokuto’s presence on the court. Akaashi was a good captain, and he could get his teammates through motivational rough spots, but he was nothing compared to how their owl-haired captain could boost the mood of the team. He would admit; however, it was nice to get home several hours earlier than he did when Bokuto was around since he wasn’t staying for a lot of extra spiking practices.

As his mind wandered thinking about Bokuto, he realized too late that he hadn’t been watching the ball and nearly caught the incoming projectile with his face, barely protecting his nose with his palms.

“Yo Akaashi where’s your mind today?” Anahori called from the other side of the net. 

“Sorry that’s my bad, I… have a big test tomorrow and I’m a little worried about it,” Akaashi responded. He did not have a test or even quiz the next day, but no one else was in his class so they wouldn’t know right?

They reset to continue their blocking drills, but before they could get going their coach whistled to call them on break. “Alright guys hydrate! The weather may be cooling down but you’re still sweating and I don’t want anyone passing out and getting hurt so close to the Inter-high tournament.”

Akaashi walked over to his bag, mentally chiding himself for losing focus like that in the middle of practice. As he grabbed his water bottle Onaga ran up to him with a worried look on his face, “Hey man! Do you really have a test tomorrow? I have a friend in your class and he was supposed to come over tonight and I don’t want him to forget to study.”

Akaashi paused wide-eyed and said in a low voice, “There’s no test tomorrow… I just... didn’t want to say why I was distracted.”

Onaga sighed in relief, then after fully processing his captain's statement looked back and squinted with mischief, “So what  _ were  _ you distracted by then?”

Akaashi continued to avoid eye contact then after a moment stated plainly, “Great horned owls.”

“Mhmm,” Onaga smirked, and left.

Frazzled, Akaashi quickly chugged his water and grabbed a small bean bag he had near his things and started tossing it between his hands to try and help stabilize his nerves. 

When the coach finally whistled again Akaashi did a few quick stretches to finish resetting his brain and ran onto the court.

He never caught the ball with his face again during the rest of practice, but for some reason Akaashi couldn’t get the mistake out of his mind. With his thoughts preoccupied he continued to make other small, but noticeable mistakes in his sets, his blocks, and his serves, and each mistake piled up in every nook and cranny of his brain until he barely heard the whistle calling practice to an end, and one of the second years had to grab his attention as they ran past.

Coach Yamiji clapped his hands and reminded the team that they had less than a month before the Inter-high tournament so they needed to make sure to keep their grades up and utilize their down time effectively because rest was just as important as practice. Once dismissed, Akaashi got up to grab his things, but Yamiji called his name.

“Is everything going alright Akaashi? You seem a bit off your game today,” he asked the setter.

Akaashi averted his gaze and looked at the wall past the older man and replied, “Oh, uh yeah… just a weird day I guess.”

The coach didn’t seem to believe Akaashi, but didn’t press further. “Okay kiddo, you’re an excellent student from what I hear so I’m sure whatever you’re worried about will go just fine.”

“Thanks, coach,” Akaashi replied with a weak smile and turned to walk away, “have a good day.”

—

That night Akaashi struggled to focus on his work. Every time he would get a few steps farther on his math his mind would be filled with a battle of doubts.  _ What if they think I’m not fit to be their setter anymore? That makes no sense, everyone has bad days. Coach Yamaji noticed though, what if he starts replacing me with Anahori more and more until I’m phased out? He wouldn’t make such a drastic change before the Inter-highs… maybe before nationals though? _

Akaashi continued to spiral until he heard his phone buzz from his bed. Eager to step away from the homework he had already abandoned in favor of panicking, he got up from his desk to grab his phone. He felt some of the tightness in his stomach turn to butterflies when he saw he had a few texts from Bokuto.

B:  _ hey hey hey Kaaaashi!!!! _

B:  _ have you read the newest chapter yet??? _

B:  _ I’M TOTALLY RIGHT ÒVÓ _

Akaashi smiled, there was some comfort to be found in Bokuto’s unending enthusiasm.

A:  _ Sorry I’ve been pretty caught up with homework today so I haven’t gotten a chance to read the update yet _

A:  _ Was Amaterasu actually the killer? _

B: we still don’t know yet BUT HEAR ME OUT

And without warning, Bokuto called Akaashi, explaining in great detail why being related to the moon god, Tsukuyomi, would lead Amaterasu to kill Kaguya, the bamboo princess from the moon, in an American mafia setting. Akaashi took the time to lay down on his bed and just focus on Bokuto speaking, occasionally offering hums of agreement or intrigue. While his theories were wild, Bokuto’s enthusiasm was normal and even brought a smile to Akaashi’s face.  _ My world hasn’t drastically changed, Bokuto is still energetic, I am still a good setter, I just had a bad day. _

\--

The next day was a comfortingly normal one. Akaashi answered all the questions addressed to him in class just fine, and Coach Yamiji hadn’t replaced him with Anahori yet (although Akaashi felt bad for probably side-eyeing the second-year setter a little too much).

He hurried home after practice because tonight he really did have a test to study for. After dinner, Akaashi sat down at his desk and dutifully threw his phone on his bed so he couldn’t look at it while he studied. Almost immediately he heard his phone buzz with a text notification, but he managed to resist the temptation to get up and read it, knowing he would never get back to studying if it was Bokuto.

Three hours later Akaashi was satisfied with his prep for his Japanese exam tomorrow. It was only going to be several long answer questions about different styles and uses of poetry in the Heian period, but he enjoyed the topic so he was willing to over-prepare. He went and grabbed his phone and sure enough, he had several texts from Bokuto. Apparently, the spiker had some more time off this weekend due to a scheduling conflict with all of the practice areas on campus and wanted to come back and see Akaashi, to which of course, Akaashi fully agreed.

Akaashi showered and prepped his things for school and practice the next day. Once he was in bed and ready to sleep, he couldn’t help but fantasize about what Bokuto’s return might be like.  _ Maybe he’ll come to practice and help me clean up, and when we’re in the storage closet together he’ll grab me with his strong arms, kiss me and confess his feelings for me. Or maybe he’ll pick me up for dinner after practice and he’ll have flowers and an owl plush and tell me he’s loved me since the day we met and I’ll confess my feelings too and then we’ll kiss.  _ Akaashi laughed and covered his face with his arms,  _ Okay, maybe I just want to kiss Bokuto. _

_ \-- _

Saturday couldn’t have come sooner in Akaashi’s opinion. And as he predicted, Bokuto came to watch practice right when warm-ups ended.

“Can’t stay away can you Bokuto?” Coach Yamiji called.

“HA, you can’t get rid of me!” Bokuto called back and walked over to chat with him about his time in university volleyball and how school was going while the team started serving practice.

Akaashi was determined to impress Bokuto with every part of his practice today and decided to start off by working on his much-improved jump serves. The coach caught his eye as he stepped up to the line and the setter could see him motion to Bokuto to watch. Akaashi tossed the ball up, ran a few steps forward, and leaped up to hit the ball which flew across the court and pummelled into the left corner, evading the libero attempting to receive the serves. 

Bokuto’s eyes lit up, “OOOOOH  _ Akaashi _ ! That would have put a hole in my chest if I were in the way!” Akaashi smiled and puffed his chest a little at the praise.

The rest of practice went off smoothly, and the setter felt assured that he had impressed his old captain with his improved skills. While the team was working on cleaning up the gym after practice had finished Akaashi saw Bokuto ask the coach something that made him laugh and shake his head in what looked like disbelief. The owl-haired spiker then ran over to Akaashi and asked in a more subdued and even nervous way than the setter had anticipated, “uh, ‘Kaashi… would you be willing to practice spikes with me?”

Akaashi smiled warmly, “Of course Bokuto, it isn’t volleyball practice if I don’t stay late with you. I take it that’s what you asked Coach Yamiji about?” 

Bokuto lit up, “Yep! He said we could as long as you’re okay with it and are willing to lock up. I promise I’ll help you clean!”

“That’s fine with me then,” he replied and turned to the rest of the team that was still cleaning, “Onaga! Leave the net up, me and Bo are gonna use it.”

“Will do captains,” he grinned, “And don’t have too much fun.” He gave Akaashi a wink, to which the setter squinted in return. 

Bokuto however with full enthusiasm exclaimed, “Haha we’re going to have a lot of fun Onaga, I’m here!”

Akaashi’s eyes widened, suppressing a blush, and turned his head to Bokuto and said in a low whisper, “He didn’t mean volleyball fun… I'm pretty sure he’s making a love bird joke again.”

Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows in momentary concentration before realizing what the other two meant, and let out a soft “Oh,” with his eyes wide in shock.

“Hey I’m just teasing you Bokuto, for real have fun with volleyball,” Onaga called back as he shut the gym door behind him, leaving the pair of owls alone.

“Hey Bo, do you  _ have _ practice clothes?” Akaashi asked, given that the spiker was wearing a sweatshirt and joggers. Not the worst to work out in but it could be a bit restricting and uncomfortable.

“Of course I do!” Bokuto replied, and promptly pulled his joggers down.

Akaashi quickly averted his gaze.  _ Why did he just pull down his pants!?  _ He dared a glance back at his  _ friend _ to find that Bokuto had been wearing athletic shorts under his pants and breathed a small sigh of relief. 

This only began the small amount of torture the spiker was unknowingly putting Akaashi through. Because not only was the setter not used to seeing Bokuto in shorts without his thigh pads, it was apparent that these were probably some of his shorts from high school, which distinctly fit a little shorter and tighter than they used to due to the muscle he had gained. And then when Bokuto pulled off his sweatshirt, in classic sweatshirt removal form Akaashi got a solid glimpse of how much more toned the spikers abdomen had gotten since attending university.

Now red in the face Akaashi stammered out, “I’m going to go fill up my water bottle and grab you an extra real quick,” and turned to run away so Bokuto couldn’t see him blushing.

When he returned with full bottles in hand, he found Bokuto now also wearing thigh pads, which Akaashi guessed must’ve been in his jogger pockets. 

“Help me stretch?” the spiker asked. Akaashi obliged and gently pushed down on the small of the other's back to press him towards the floor while his legs were spread out in a V, and then joined him in the familiar stretch routine. Even though he didn’t need warming up, stretching post-workout was beneficial and it felt nice to stretch together again, as mundane a thing that was.

When Bokuto threw up a ball for Akaashi’s first set it was as if no time had passed since their last match or their last practice. The ball hit the palms of the setter’s outstretched hands which he rolled to the tips of his long fingers to toss to the spiker, already mid-leap, who then brought the ball barreling down into the opposite court. If there were anyone else in the court at that moment to watch the pair in action, they would have agreed that those were birds of prey.

The two owls were silent for the few split seconds it took for the ball to fly from its initial impact and land near the wall outside the court. Then they turned to each other and yelled in unison with excitement, Bokuto going in for a hard-hitting high five that left Akaashi’s hands stinging. 

“Akaashi that was amazing! AAA I’ve missed this so much!” then after an almost unnoticeable pause, “I’ve missed  _ you  _ so much!”

Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat, “I’ve missed you too Bokuto.” Their gazes lingered on each other a little longer than normal before Bokuto ran back to grab the next ball.

The pair continued to practice for another hour until they were both out of breath and covered in sweat. “Okay Bokuto, I’m done for today,” Akaashi said leaning down with his hands on his knees.

Bokuto wrapped an arm around the setter’s shoulders, “Ah that’s fine, I had fun!” 

Akaashi groaned and pushed his arm off, “Ew you’re all sweaty and I’m sweaty, let’s go shower at my place so we don’t stink anymore, I’ll let my mom know you’re coming.”

“Do I not get a choice?”

“No.”

At that Bokuto laughed and helped Akaashi get the gym cleaned up again. There was a moment once they had finished all the cleaning when they were both in the storage closet and Akaashi decided to really take his time setting his mop against the wall, just in case Bokuto had anything to say,  _ you never know right? _ To his slight disappointment, Bokuto did not kiss him and confess his feelings amongst all the nets, mops, and tarps; instead, he just clapped him on the back and said “C’mon ‘Kaashi, I’m hungry! Let’s grab some food on the way.”

Akaashi agreed and left the storage closet to grab his things and lock up the gym, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Bokuto’s hand had lingered on his back more than it used to.

\--

The two grabbed some pork buns to eat on their way back and made it to Akaashi’s house, not quite as starving as before. As they were switching to house slippers, Bokuto taking a familiar guest pair, Akaashi’s mother came over excitedly to greet them.

“Koutarou! My, have you gotten bigger, I’d say you’re even taller now too,” she cooed.

Bokuto smiled proudly, “Yep! By at  _ least _ half a centimeter last I checked.” Akaashi’s mother continued to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over her son’s friend and Akaashi excused himself to go ahead and shower before she got Bokuto on the topic of university. 

He headed upstairs to his room where he grabbed a fresh set of clothes and a towel, and he could still hear his mother pestering Bokuto when he entered the bathroom. Akaashi laughed to himself as he turned the water on, his mother was determined to have Bokuto as a member of the family, no matter the method. One night at dinner, his mother looked at Akaashi and said, “that boy is gonna be a part of this family someday Keiji, and if you don’t marry him then I’m gonna adopt him!” The second half of that statement surprised Akaashi so much he dropped the noodles he had been about to eat back into his bowl and got splashed with the broth. That had only made her laugh more and say the words that had stuck with Akaashi since then, “Oh come on now, I see how you look at that boy. I don’t need a rainbow flag to know a crush when I see one Keiji.”

That was an emotional but good night for Akaashi. It was also when he realized that his mother was right, he did have a crush on Bokuto. 

He finished his shower relatively quickly, he was grateful to be free of the sweat and stench of the gym. He splashed on some post-shower face moisturizer and put on a clean loose sweater and dark gray jeans, then headed back downstairs and lightly punched Bokuto in the arm to let him know it was his turn. Bokuto grabbed his joggers and sweatshirt and ran upstairs, leaving Akaashi behind with his mother.

“Well Koutarou’s gotten more handsome hasn’t he?” his mother teased.

Akaashi groaned and buried his face in his hands before letting out a small, “yeah…”

\--

Once they had both showered and eaten a quick lunch that Akaashi’s mother graciously provided, the pair decided to go to a nearby mall to walk around. As they walked around the first area of the mall filled with trinket stores, toy shops, and candle sellers Bokuto explained in great detail everything about his intro graphic design class, and Akaashi as always listened to every word with genuine interest. 

There was a part of Akaashi that never really understood why some of their old teammates would get noticeably annoyed by Bokuto’s tangents. Sure they were long and not always at the most convenient times, but he had always believed that sharing something you care about like that was an act of trust, and listening and engaging with the person on it was an act of love, platonic or otherwise. Plus when Bokuto talked about the things that excited him Akaashi thought that his eyes had a twinkle that could light up the room and that his smile could power the sun, but maybe that was just the crush talking.

That’s when they came across the specialty clothing shops, the shops with clothes that fit specific and sometimes, in Akaashi’s opinion, outlandish styles. Akaashi figured they were going to just walk past them, and maybe comment on aspects they did or didn’t like, but Bokuto had other plans. He stopped in front of a shop whose mannequin was wearing a sweater covered in (obnoxiously) large primary-colored puff balls and large cream-colored cargo pants that had lots of primary-colored accent pieces. Bokuto grabbed Akaashi by the shoulders, “We’re trying this on,” and pulled him by the wrist into the shop.

Akaashi hadn’t expected to find himself wearing what could only be described as a casual clown outfit when he woke up this morning, but here he was, wearing bright red shorts covered in yellow English alphabet characters and a black button-up shirt that had a dual primary color collar, primary-colored buttons, and sleeves with red and yellow diamond-patterned poufs halfway down the forearm, standing next to Bokuto who was in the puffball mannequin outfit. Bokuto had wanted them both to be in the mannequin’s outfit, but because they were both so tall they needed larger sizes and there was only one in stock, but the owl-haired spiker was more than happy to choose another outfit for Akaashi. 

So here they were, standing in front of a changing room mirror wearing the most ridiculous outfits Akaashi had seen on any living creature, and he loved it. He didn’t love the outfit per se, but he felt himself falling even harder for his friend, even with the 10 pounds of puffball in between them. This was such a goofy, outlandish idea that only Bokuto could have thought of and executed it, and Akaashi was glad a million times over that he was the one who got to experience it. 

“Akaashi… you know there is something very important we have to do now right?” Bokuto asked, looking into Akaashi’s eyes with extreme conviction.

“Hm?”

“Vogue!” and with that Bokuto whipped out his phone and started to dramatically pose. Akaashi was very good at Bokuto’s spontaneous vogue game, they did it a lot at volleyball tournament bathrooms in high school, so he also got into dramatic yet complementary poses while Bokuto took photos. As their poses and facial expressions got more and more dramatic, the pair started to snicker until finally, one overly serious puckered lip had them both doubled over with laughter, tears welling in their eyes. 

“Bo- oh my god did you get any good pics?” Akaashi asked between still short breaths.

Bokuto wiped a tear from the corner of his eye before unlocking his phone to get to the gallery. He stood with his shoulder pressed against Akaashi’s and started to scroll back to the beginning of the many pictures they took. But as he got the first picture open one of the employees walked back.

“Are you boys still doing alright?”

“Oh! Uh yeah, we were just about to change thanks!” Akaashi responded with a jump.

“Okay just hang the clothes on that rack when you’re done!” and with that, the employee left again.

“Let’s look at those later we should get going,” Akaashi said to Bokuto.

“Aha yeah, we probably should.”

—

Once changed back into their street clothes the pair decided to go to their favorite ice cream shop to go over the pictures. Bokuto ordered his favorite, orange sherbet and Akaashi got cookies and cream, he could never decide which flavor was his favorite, but it was definitely one of his top contenders. With ice cream in tow, the pair took a seat at a table outside. Since it was the afternoon, business was slow and they were the only ones around.

They sat in comfortable silence, taking a moment to relax and enjoy their treat while also recovering from the excitement of the mall. Once he had licked his ice cream down so it wouldn’t fall, Akaashi started conversation again.

“So how has everything been going with your team since your last visit? Did you talk to them?”

“Well it’s not perfect of course, none of them are you, but I think it’s improving! I talked to Daichi and Kuroo first and they were able to help talk to my teammates, so I haven’t heard anyone talk bad about me behind my back and the setter definitely seems to be working on communicating when I’m ready to spike again. Kuroo and Daichi have been pretty good at giving me encouragement when I’m dejected too so yeah it's going better! Thank you for suggesting that,” Bokuto replied with a grateful smile.

Akaashi smiled back, “I’m glad Bokuto!”

After another lick of his sherbet Bokuto spoke again, “Oh! Daichi also suggested I talk to our coach about my dejected mode a bit and he was totally receptive and actually gave me information for a campus therapist who’s used to working with athletes and might be able to help me work on coping with my spirals!”

“Woah Bokuto that’s incredible! I’m really proud of you, that’s really cool,” Akaashi said with a huge smile as a mixture of pride and adoration filled his chest. Bokuto sat up straighter and smiled, as he often did to Akaashi’s praise.

Akaashi started to continue eating his ice cream when Bokuto asked him a question that caught him off guard, “I feel like I rarely ask, but are you doing alright in practices and stuff? You seem to silently deal with everything so I’m gonna outright ask you now! I mean I suppose as long as you do want to talk about anything going on”

Akaashi thought for a moment, took another bite of his ice cream, and replied, “well you know how sometimes I would be irritated after practices?”

“Mhm.”

“Well sometimes just the right combination of drills will make all the right amounts of loud, constant sound and it’s like I can feel my brain fill with static afterward and I‘m just exhausted.”

Akaashi paused to set his ice cream down on a napkin so he could start fidgeting with his fingers as he felt his anxiety rising. “And that in combination with the fact that sometimes I get distracted or zone out so I just don’t hear something important or I’ll forget some relevant instructions and I just get so, like, irrationally frustrated! And I can make it look like that didn't happen most of the time so I can keep up the appearance of being the cool, collected, mature center of the team, but sometimes I just look totally stupid!”

The setter’s breathing quickened as his pent up thoughts began tumbling out in ineloquent words, “and-...and even though I might  _ know _ it’s ridiculous, every time I feel like I’ve made a fool of myself I am convinced that coach is going to start having Anahori replace me more and more until I’m not even relevant to the team because I can’t be relied on, and that my teammates feel the same way.” Tears began to stream down Akaashi’s cheeks, “So now I’m always afraid that my friends on the volleyball team are going to just abandon me, and I do have some friends outside of volleyball in my classes but I’m not super talkative or anything so making friends is hard sometimes and I really, really don’t want to lose everyone around me because I can’t think straight!... I don’t want everyone to leave me...”

His eyes were darting everywhere except for Bokuto and it felt like there was nothing he could do to get his breathing under control. He tried to wipe the tears from his face but they kept coming and he looked at his hands, shaking, completely helpless to stop anything that was happening.  _ Bokuto must feel so uncomfortable right now… _ Akaashi thought in his panic.  _ There are a few things he might do, one, he’ll tell me I’m totally fine and to get over it because I’m me, two, he might just not say anything until I’m done and then act like nothing happened, three he’ll get up because why should he waste his free weekend with a crying friend from high school, four- _

His spiraling thought process was cut off by Bokuto doing something he hadn’t predicted at all, he reached across the table cupped his warm hands on the side of the setter’s face. 

“Akaashi,” he hears, “look at me,” and Akaashi looks up at Bokuto. “Feel the warmth of my hands and focus on them, hear the sound of my voice and focus on the words I’m saying to you. You are not alone, I am here with you, you are alive, you are breathing.”

Akaashi gave a few small nods while maintaining eye contact with Bokuto. “Hold on real quick,” Bokuto said quickly as he removed his hands from Akaahi’s face so that he could pick up his chair and move to sit next to Akaashi. Akaashi turned to him and Bokuto placed his hands back on the setter’s face, “Okay so, um, now we’re going to breathe together so that you can feel that you’re not alone! We’re going to breathe in for four and out for four to start, and try to breathe in through your nose if you can. Ready?” And with a nod Bokuto and Akaashi worked to breathe in for four counts, Akaashi’s breaths were staggered and shaky, but after a few rounds, he couldn’t help but laugh a little because Bokuto was tapping his fingers against his head to count, and after a few minutes his breathing had leveled and he wasn’t crying anymore.

Thanks to Bokuto, Akaashi’s thoughts weren’t filled with panicked worries anymore, they were only filled with Boktuo. How much Bokuto cares, how soft his hands are against his face  _ oh god don't think about that _ , how much he likes Bokuto  _ shit _ . The underlying fear of how Bokuto would react to his crush had no trouble rearing its ugly head while Akaashi was still recovering from a panic attack, and his breathing started to become rapid and shallow once more.

Bokuto noticed Akaashi starting to panic again and just leaned forward to press his forehead against his friend. Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat, making his lip quiver anymore.  _ I can’t lose this,  _ he thought and wrapped his fingers around Bokuto’s hands still holding his face.

“I’m here Keiji,” Bokuto said softly. He removed his hands from Akaashi’s face and held Akaashi’s fingers within his own. They were warm and calloused from years of volleyball, but they were so gentle too.

Bokuto spoke gently to Akaashi in an attempt to keep him grounded, “you might be able to ask coach if you can bring earplugs sometimes for bad sensory days, and you all could maybe start repeating instructions multiple times so that you don’t get lost when you get distracted…” 

He trailed off and started rubbing his thumbs over the top of Akaashi’s hands who could feel himself falling more in love with his friend. It only made the prospect of losing him so much worse, but the necessity to confess his feelings even greater because he felt as if his heart was going to burst if he held it in any longer.

A few tears rolled down Akaashi’s cheeks and his voice quivered as he spoke, “I really, really care about you Bokuto, please don’t hate me.” Despite everything, he prepared his heart for Bokuto to retract his hands, pull his forehead away, and leave him outside this ice cream parlor without even taking what was left of his sherbet. 

None of that happened though. Instead, Bokuto squeezed Akaashi’s hand and replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I care about you too Akaashi! Don’t worry, I’m still here and still holding your hand.”

Akaashi couldn’t help but break out in the biggest smile possible as he continued to hold Bokuto’s hands. He took the chance to relish in the moment of just being with Bokuto like this. They stayed together for a while longer, neither of them could tell how much time was passing, but Bokuto broke their silence when he realized Akaashi’s ice cream was melting and wanted to make sure that he was able to eat it.

“Do you wanna go home once we’re done with our ice cream? You’ve had a pretty long day,” Bokuto asked while trying to clean up the part of his sherbet that had melted.

Akaashi smiled and nodded, unable to express how happy Bokuto was making him right now.

\--

The walk back to Akaashi’s house was fairly normal, Bokuto explained how he had learned to help other people with panic attacks from Daichi who had to help quite a few people on his team at Karasuno, and then talked at length about the multitude of different ways he could become a professional volleyball player (Akaashi, of course, had heard this all before but the new perspective from college was interesting). The main difference was that Akaashi decided to walk a little bit closer to Bokuto than he had been earlier so they kept bumping into each other, exactly as the setter had hoped. If he was being honest with himself, he was still too nervous to try anything more.

When they arrived at Akaashi’s house Bokuto walked Akaashi up to the door and said, “Thanks for hanging out with me today I really miss getting to be with you all the time!”  
Akaashi smiled, “I’m really glad I got to see you today too! And… thank you for everything, it means everything to me.”

Bokuto smiled back, “Of course! You deserve good things too Akaashi.”

The two owls looked at each other as if there was something they still had to do or say, then Akaashi broke the tension. He stepped forward and hugged Bokuto, burying his face in the other’s shoulder. Bokuto paused in surprise for a split second before wrapping his arms around Akaashi too. Akaashi relaxed into Bokuto’s chest, he took in how he smelled and how the spiker’s shirt felt on his back underneath his hands. He took in how Bokuto’s arms felt wrapped around him and how much he wished he could stay right there forever. He took in every possible detail about this situation.

After a few long moments, Akaashi pulled away and smiled as he headed to the door.

“Goodnight, Koutarou.”

“Goodnight Keiji”

With that Akaashi headed inside, and he found his mother reading a book in the kitchen with a cup of tea.

“How’d your date go Keiji?” she asked with an inquisitive smirk as if she hadn’t been able to see out the window from where she was sitting.

Akaashi smiled, not correcting her, “It went really well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy thanks for reading again :0  
> This is my first multi-chapter fic so I hope it works out okay!!  
> Also yes, this IS idiots to lovers.


End file.
